Posts
Lots of time has passed since I've written seriously. I have returned from my 9 month journey to Australia, refreshed and renewed with a sharpened perspective on life. My goal for the trip was to completely let go of everything and totally surrender to the powers that be. I wanted to release my attachment to thoughts like 'what am I doing in life?' or 'who am i?' I wanted to experience the feeling of freedom that occurs when you finally stop fighting and cease all effort, trusting the river of life to take you where you need to be. I learned that opportunities present themselves and you have to grab them right there in that moment and move forward confidently. There is no time for hesitation. Move now and move with purpose. There are no failures in life, only learning experiences.
I returned to Burning Man this last August and came out of the week with two important revelations.
1) My path has been a solitary journey and I have learned many lessons by following it. However, the time has come for me to live amongst a community of other spiritual people in order to have the backbone of support to facilitate my further growth. I actually realized this during a short stint in Indonesia but it wasn't until Burning Man, when I camped with people from Santa Cruz, that I found the people I wanted to be around. I am now living in Santa Cruz with a great roommate who I met at BM.
2) I have long struggled with a career choice because I wanted to find a way to combine self-employment and financial abundance along with my spiritual path. I have a natural talent for psychology but was very turned off by the cerebral and analytical Western medical approach that was presented to me in college. It suddenly dawned on me that I could counsel others using only the positive benefits of the commonly accepted psychological approach combined with higher guidance accessed by intuition. By going back to school to get a post-graduate degree, I can bridge the gap between 'over analytical doctor who doesn't get it' and 'no real world credibility life coach.'
I moved forward confidently with my first revelation and already find myself HERE, typing this up in my room in Santa Cruz. I hardly had to put forth any effort to make it happen because the move was on my path and when you are on your path the universe conspires to help you. For some reason, until just now, I had not moved forward confidently with the second revelation and I realize that I have been thinking it would be too hard or that now is not the right time. The fact of the matter is the only thing that is keeping me from creating the reality of being an intuitive counselor is the very thought that it will be hard. Once that belief is removed, it will fall together just as easily and effortlessly as the move to Santa Cruz.
After talking with my roommate about this, we both started blurting out ideas about how to make this happen. He is an excellent web designer and can help me put together something really special that will attract a lot of attention and help me launch out quickly. The current vision is to be a young counselor for young people. I see that many psychiatrists are too old to relate to the nuances of my generation.. not to mention that their approaches are poisoned by the currently accepted "bottom-up" scientific thought modalities. They focus in on these little ideas and details and totally miss the larger perspective. If you know anything about psychology, many of the older psychiatrists still subscribe to behaviorism! That is some outdated stuff!! Some of these people should not be allowed to give advice to patients. I could go off on a rant about some of the ridiculous things I was taught in academia as well as through my personal experiences with counselors but I'll spare both you and myself of a tirade.
I feel as though I have a lot to offer the mental health profession. They could use a fresh perspective and are definitely lacking integration of the spiritual/intuitive aspect of our minds that is definitely a large part of how we operate, whether we are aware of it or not.
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I'm not completely satisfied with my ability to communicate my thoughts in this post but perhaps writing into the early hours of the morning has something to do with it. I intend to write some posts reflecting upon my travels in order to tell some stories and remember the lessons that I have learned.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Global Social Landscape
Many people have been asking me about my Australia trip and want to know what I saw or what I did. When I try to remember the best places that I went, I begin to realize that for me, the trip was never about the locations. My interest has always been people and I spent most of my time observing and interacting with the different people of this planet.
Everyone knows America as a diverse country but Australia might actually be the most diverse country in the world. Many of the people there of a different ethnic origin were actually born in another country. We have a lot of ethnic backgrounds in the US but many of us don't identify strongly with our cultural heritage, especially if our ancestors came over many generations ago. The fact is that we are just Americans raised in America. This is our culture and this is our country, regardless of where we came from originally.
In Australia I had the opportunity to interact with the Germans from Germany, the Taiwanese from Taiwan, and the Israelis from Israel and was afforded an opportunity to meet and learn from all the cultures in the world in one convenient place. One of the requirements of the 12 month working visa is to be under the age of 30, so all of the travelers in the working hostels are guaranteed to be under this age. I began to notice patterns in regard to the age at which certain nationalities choose to travel. Most of the Europeans were between 19 and 23 and some had been away from home for several years already. At 24, I felt like I was young to be doing so much travel and I was surprised to find that I was older than most of the people from Western nations. I also thought that 9 months was a long and ambitious trip and I had to reevaluate my feelings after meeting so many people younger than myself who were going on their 3rd year away from home.
One of the most striking observations I made was the effect of different lifestyles on physical health. Most of the Asian travelers were between 27 and 30 but you wouldn't know it from their appearance. Many of the girls who looked 21 turned out to be 29! This got me thinking.. hey, our Asians don't look like this. They have exactly the same genetics but they tend to look closer to their actual age. The only difference between the two groups that I can think of is lifestyle. These people with the youthful appearance eat diets of mostly rice, noodles and vegetables, sometimes with a SMALL amount of meat. Their Asian-American counterparts tend to eat less healthy than this (sometimes a lot less healthy) and now that I have a basis for comparison, it's very easy to see the effects our food is having on our bodies. The Asians eat small portions of healthy food and we're tucking into half a cow with one green thing on the plate for decoration. They drink a little beer or rice wine and we're smoking cigars and shooting whiskey. OF COURSE we are going to age faster than them. It's so obvious when you stop to think about it but we never do. We go on with our habits and watch our elder Americans dying of heart disease and cancer while we convince ourselves that we will experience a different fate. It's ludicrous.
I, for one, have learned my lesson. I am eating healthier food and drinking less alcohol. I urge you all to do the same.
Everyone knows America as a diverse country but Australia might actually be the most diverse country in the world. Many of the people there of a different ethnic origin were actually born in another country. We have a lot of ethnic backgrounds in the US but many of us don't identify strongly with our cultural heritage, especially if our ancestors came over many generations ago. The fact is that we are just Americans raised in America. This is our culture and this is our country, regardless of where we came from originally.
In Australia I had the opportunity to interact with the Germans from Germany, the Taiwanese from Taiwan, and the Israelis from Israel and was afforded an opportunity to meet and learn from all the cultures in the world in one convenient place. One of the requirements of the 12 month working visa is to be under the age of 30, so all of the travelers in the working hostels are guaranteed to be under this age. I began to notice patterns in regard to the age at which certain nationalities choose to travel. Most of the Europeans were between 19 and 23 and some had been away from home for several years already. At 24, I felt like I was young to be doing so much travel and I was surprised to find that I was older than most of the people from Western nations. I also thought that 9 months was a long and ambitious trip and I had to reevaluate my feelings after meeting so many people younger than myself who were going on their 3rd year away from home.
One of the most striking observations I made was the effect of different lifestyles on physical health. Most of the Asian travelers were between 27 and 30 but you wouldn't know it from their appearance. Many of the girls who looked 21 turned out to be 29! This got me thinking.. hey, our Asians don't look like this. They have exactly the same genetics but they tend to look closer to their actual age. The only difference between the two groups that I can think of is lifestyle. These people with the youthful appearance eat diets of mostly rice, noodles and vegetables, sometimes with a SMALL amount of meat. Their Asian-American counterparts tend to eat less healthy than this (sometimes a lot less healthy) and now that I have a basis for comparison, it's very easy to see the effects our food is having on our bodies. The Asians eat small portions of healthy food and we're tucking into half a cow with one green thing on the plate for decoration. They drink a little beer or rice wine and we're smoking cigars and shooting whiskey. OF COURSE we are going to age faster than them. It's so obvious when you stop to think about it but we never do. We go on with our habits and watch our elder Americans dying of heart disease and cancer while we convince ourselves that we will experience a different fate. It's ludicrous.
I, for one, have learned my lesson. I am eating healthier food and drinking less alcohol. I urge you all to do the same.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Experiments in Dreaming
I've had a few experiences with lucid dreaming over the course of my life. A dream becomes lucid at the point you become aware that you are dreaming. The most distinct instance in my mind is a dream in which I was running away from something that was chasing me. I was hurtling over objects and each one was higher than the last. Soon I was jumping over 6 foot fences without putting more than one foot on top. I jumped a 10 foot wall and then over a wall higher than 30 feet. Some logic circuit in my brain tripped and I realized that this was not physically possible and that I must be dreaming. I wanted to take control of my dream and at this point, I decided to try to do something that everyone wants to do in a dream: Fly. Whatever threat that was pursuing me fell away and I continued to jump higher and higher towards the sky. Each time I reached the crest I tried to fly but somehow didn't have enough power to do it. I was surprised to see that I actually had to learn to fly and that a simple desire to do it was not enough. The key that finally unlocked the secret proved to be very much like in the Matrix how Morpheus coaches Neo how to jump across the rooftop gap. "(not verbatim) Do you think my ability to jump this distance has anything to do with my muscles in this world? You have to believe wholeheartedly that you can do it. Free your mind." I had to somehow change my belief that I would fall back to the ground and replace it with the belief that it was actually possible for me to break the bonds of gravity. I was eventually successful and consciously soared through the sky as high and as fast as I wanted. The experience was as real, as sharp, and as crisp as it would have been to fly in the real world.
My lucid dreaming experiences occurred rarely and with long periods of time between episodes. However, I recently read a book called The Art of Dreaming by Carlos Castaneda which has drastically increased the frequency of my lucid dreams. I went to sleep soon after reading an early chapter about how to become lucid and how to maintain stability in the dream environment. When I got into bed, I closed my eyes and set an intention that I would be aware of myself falling asleep. (I think I've described how to set an intention in a previous post but regardless, I will not explain it at this time because I find that it's the single most difficult thing for me to describe with words, as it's of an abstract, mental and spiritual nature.) After setting the intention, my consciousness stayed with me and I felt my body slip into sleep. Upon dropping into a dream, I became lucid almost immediately and began to explore my dream environment. Everything in a dream is in constant flux and is subject to change at any moment. For this reason, you must have an object of stability which can anchor you and allow you to briefly gaze at other objects in the dream. Castaneda recommends walking around the dream staring at your hands, glancing briefly at objects and then back at the hands in order to retain the stability of the environment. Observation of an object can change it and that is why the glances must be brief. I followed his instructions exactly and I observed several objects in this manner. Everything was very loose and watery, as if I was wandering through a Van Gogh painting. Castaneda explains that the level at which the dream environment is solid and stable is dependent on the dreaming power of the individual. Apparently I didn't have much dreaming power at that time because nothing in the environment was solid. I continued to observe objects until I found one that was very interesting and looked at it longer than usual. The object began to melt and morph in front of me, like the paint was swirling down an invisible drain that existed behind it. I immediately looked back at my hands and focused in an attempt to fight off the chaos and regain my stability. Everything around me began to melt and vibrate violently, like a scene out of The Butterfly Effect. I didn't panic but definitely felt like I had lost any control that I had managed to wrestle down for that brief time. The dream world and all the paint in it swirled down a massive drain into blackness, taking me with it. At the moment I disappeared down the drain, I lost lucidity and fell into a deep sleep.
The next significant dream occurred during a time I was reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. In the dream, I was having a secret meeting with a teacher figure. The secrecy of the meeting was imperative because the outside world was a strict and controlled totalitarian society and would not approve of the topics discussed. There was a knock on the window on one side of the room and then on a window on the opposite side of the room. There were figures wearing full face masks claiming that they were also students and wanted to take part in the meeting. They were wearing masks to conceal their identity in case they were observed en route to the meeting. Alarm bells were going off in my head and as I was looking back and forth between them, I expressed to my teacher that we might be in danger if we open the room to these people. My teacher did not answer and when I looked over at him, he had morphed into one of the figures wearing a mask and was holding a bazooka like cannon, pointed at me from his hip. He fired and I put up my hands as I let out a startled cry, only to be blasted with a high-pressure, harmless white cloud like the type expelled from a fire extinguisher. I realized that I wasn't hurt in the slightest and immediately felt extremely embarrassed and then angry, as if I'd fallen for an elaborate hoax. I was lying down on a couch at the time and when I tried to sit up, I realized that my entire body was paralyzed and that I couldn't even move a finger.
It was at this point that I became aware that I was dreaming. I tried to wake up but found that I didn't have the ability to do that either. I was aware that my waking consciousness was somewhere above me but I felt like I couldn't get through to it, like I was blocked by a thick rubber shield that gave way to pushing but just wouldn't snap. At this moment, I was overcome by a foreign energy. I didn't see it coming but I could certainly feel it. It was vibrating at a very high frequency and I associated the color orange with it, even though there was no visual experience of orange. It took over my body, my head jerked back, my fists clenched, every muscle in my entire body contracted and my mouth opened wide as I let out a roar of extremely intense pure rage. The emotion was very vivid and even though I knew it didn't belong to me, I experienced this feeling of rage as if it was my own. The scream lasted for around 5 seconds and I wasn't sure if I was violently purging the intruder from me or if it had somehow took over and made me exhibit this behavior. In either case, when the roar ended, it was gone and my body fell limp back down to the couch. I was still mostly paralyzed but was slowly beginning to regain mobility. The room was now dark and quiet and the masked figures were no longer present. I was able to slowly move a very heavy arm up to my head so that I could turn it and look around at my environment. I was looking into the depth of the room as I began to awaken in the most peculiar manner. I slowly rose back into waking consciousness in the same way that a submarine comes up to surface, getting higher and higher until it pokes through that last bit of water into the air above. I had been staring out into the depth of that dark room and at the moment I poked back into the waking world, the depth of the room collapsed and I was staring at the wall in front of me, awake in my bed with my eyes already open. I sat up in bed and strangely enough, in my real world body, I could still feel the energetic fingerprint of the being I had encountered in my dream. It felt like orange sparks that originated in my brain, crackling lightly down the length of my body like electricity. In his book, Castaneda mentions that our dreams contain objects and environments that are produced by our subconscious but that there are also real things and real places that we encounter in our dreams that are not of this world. He says that everyone encounters them but that since most people don't know what they are or how to recognize them, they write it off as coincidence or 'just a crazy dream' and soon forget about them. Castaneda writes that there are many types of energetic beings that we can encounter in the dream world and that some of them are aggressive. The thing that I encountered sounded very similar to one of the aggressive types that he mentioned but I don't feel like I have enough experience to really know if I encountered something real or if I encountered something that I created with my mind after reading about that type of energetic being. The most peculiar thing out of the whole experience was that I definitely felt some type of lingering energy in my real life body after I woke up. I don't know what to make of it but I will continue my dreaming practices in the meantime.
My lucid dreaming experiences occurred rarely and with long periods of time between episodes. However, I recently read a book called The Art of Dreaming by Carlos Castaneda which has drastically increased the frequency of my lucid dreams. I went to sleep soon after reading an early chapter about how to become lucid and how to maintain stability in the dream environment. When I got into bed, I closed my eyes and set an intention that I would be aware of myself falling asleep. (I think I've described how to set an intention in a previous post but regardless, I will not explain it at this time because I find that it's the single most difficult thing for me to describe with words, as it's of an abstract, mental and spiritual nature.) After setting the intention, my consciousness stayed with me and I felt my body slip into sleep. Upon dropping into a dream, I became lucid almost immediately and began to explore my dream environment. Everything in a dream is in constant flux and is subject to change at any moment. For this reason, you must have an object of stability which can anchor you and allow you to briefly gaze at other objects in the dream. Castaneda recommends walking around the dream staring at your hands, glancing briefly at objects and then back at the hands in order to retain the stability of the environment. Observation of an object can change it and that is why the glances must be brief. I followed his instructions exactly and I observed several objects in this manner. Everything was very loose and watery, as if I was wandering through a Van Gogh painting. Castaneda explains that the level at which the dream environment is solid and stable is dependent on the dreaming power of the individual. Apparently I didn't have much dreaming power at that time because nothing in the environment was solid. I continued to observe objects until I found one that was very interesting and looked at it longer than usual. The object began to melt and morph in front of me, like the paint was swirling down an invisible drain that existed behind it. I immediately looked back at my hands and focused in an attempt to fight off the chaos and regain my stability. Everything around me began to melt and vibrate violently, like a scene out of The Butterfly Effect. I didn't panic but definitely felt like I had lost any control that I had managed to wrestle down for that brief time. The dream world and all the paint in it swirled down a massive drain into blackness, taking me with it. At the moment I disappeared down the drain, I lost lucidity and fell into a deep sleep.
The next significant dream occurred during a time I was reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. In the dream, I was having a secret meeting with a teacher figure. The secrecy of the meeting was imperative because the outside world was a strict and controlled totalitarian society and would not approve of the topics discussed. There was a knock on the window on one side of the room and then on a window on the opposite side of the room. There were figures wearing full face masks claiming that they were also students and wanted to take part in the meeting. They were wearing masks to conceal their identity in case they were observed en route to the meeting. Alarm bells were going off in my head and as I was looking back and forth between them, I expressed to my teacher that we might be in danger if we open the room to these people. My teacher did not answer and when I looked over at him, he had morphed into one of the figures wearing a mask and was holding a bazooka like cannon, pointed at me from his hip. He fired and I put up my hands as I let out a startled cry, only to be blasted with a high-pressure, harmless white cloud like the type expelled from a fire extinguisher. I realized that I wasn't hurt in the slightest and immediately felt extremely embarrassed and then angry, as if I'd fallen for an elaborate hoax. I was lying down on a couch at the time and when I tried to sit up, I realized that my entire body was paralyzed and that I couldn't even move a finger.
It was at this point that I became aware that I was dreaming. I tried to wake up but found that I didn't have the ability to do that either. I was aware that my waking consciousness was somewhere above me but I felt like I couldn't get through to it, like I was blocked by a thick rubber shield that gave way to pushing but just wouldn't snap. At this moment, I was overcome by a foreign energy. I didn't see it coming but I could certainly feel it. It was vibrating at a very high frequency and I associated the color orange with it, even though there was no visual experience of orange. It took over my body, my head jerked back, my fists clenched, every muscle in my entire body contracted and my mouth opened wide as I let out a roar of extremely intense pure rage. The emotion was very vivid and even though I knew it didn't belong to me, I experienced this feeling of rage as if it was my own. The scream lasted for around 5 seconds and I wasn't sure if I was violently purging the intruder from me or if it had somehow took over and made me exhibit this behavior. In either case, when the roar ended, it was gone and my body fell limp back down to the couch. I was still mostly paralyzed but was slowly beginning to regain mobility. The room was now dark and quiet and the masked figures were no longer present. I was able to slowly move a very heavy arm up to my head so that I could turn it and look around at my environment. I was looking into the depth of the room as I began to awaken in the most peculiar manner. I slowly rose back into waking consciousness in the same way that a submarine comes up to surface, getting higher and higher until it pokes through that last bit of water into the air above. I had been staring out into the depth of that dark room and at the moment I poked back into the waking world, the depth of the room collapsed and I was staring at the wall in front of me, awake in my bed with my eyes already open. I sat up in bed and strangely enough, in my real world body, I could still feel the energetic fingerprint of the being I had encountered in my dream. It felt like orange sparks that originated in my brain, crackling lightly down the length of my body like electricity. In his book, Castaneda mentions that our dreams contain objects and environments that are produced by our subconscious but that there are also real things and real places that we encounter in our dreams that are not of this world. He says that everyone encounters them but that since most people don't know what they are or how to recognize them, they write it off as coincidence or 'just a crazy dream' and soon forget about them. Castaneda writes that there are many types of energetic beings that we can encounter in the dream world and that some of them are aggressive. The thing that I encountered sounded very similar to one of the aggressive types that he mentioned but I don't feel like I have enough experience to really know if I encountered something real or if I encountered something that I created with my mind after reading about that type of energetic being. The most peculiar thing out of the whole experience was that I definitely felt some type of lingering energy in my real life body after I woke up. I don't know what to make of it but I will continue my dreaming practices in the meantime.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Fork in the Road
For whatever reason, my writing just hasn't been coming together these last few months. Part of the reason is that I've been so caught up with what I've been doing but most of the hesitation is because I just don't like writing. Despite all the praise and encouragement I've received about it, I don't really enjoy it and view it as a chore. However, there is no other method by which I can crystallize my thoughts and clear my mind as well as I can when I write.
The last month has been spent reading books and helping people. I went back out to a farm in the Victorian countryside where I did tarot readings for 10-15 people. I found that a lot of people there were feeling lost and confused and I was able to help them out with a bit of guidance. One of the things I learned is that major lessons are placed in front of us at times in our life but that in order to learn them and evolve, we have to choose to undertake the challenge. Sometimes we get stuck because we are afraid of some part of this challenge and what parts of ourselves we will need to acknowledge and improve. In effect, this lesson comes to us and says "yes" but because we are afraid of it, we say "no." However, saying no does not make the lesson back off. It will sit in front of you for the rest of your life and into your next until you are ready to face it, say "yes", learn the lesson and evolve. One of the women I read cards for was 50 years old and she was stuck behind a choice that she had been saying no to for 27 years. She realized that she couldn't escape from it and finally faced her fear of it. I talked to her a week later and she said that after she had decided to go ahead, everything fell into place to make things easier for her, like the universe was conspiring in her favor. That type of experience is an indication that you're on the right life path and the more synchronicity you see, the better you're doing. She had been struggling along for 27 years, working against the flow of life rather than with it and it had left her feeling very tired, unlucky, and uninspired. It was so good to see her full of energy within just a week of deciding to face up to her path and it serves as a reminder to me that we should never act our of fear. Fear serves to urge us towards caution but if it persuades us towards immobility, we are allowing it to speak too freely.
The last month has been spent reading books and helping people. I went back out to a farm in the Victorian countryside where I did tarot readings for 10-15 people. I found that a lot of people there were feeling lost and confused and I was able to help them out with a bit of guidance. One of the things I learned is that major lessons are placed in front of us at times in our life but that in order to learn them and evolve, we have to choose to undertake the challenge. Sometimes we get stuck because we are afraid of some part of this challenge and what parts of ourselves we will need to acknowledge and improve. In effect, this lesson comes to us and says "yes" but because we are afraid of it, we say "no." However, saying no does not make the lesson back off. It will sit in front of you for the rest of your life and into your next until you are ready to face it, say "yes", learn the lesson and evolve. One of the women I read cards for was 50 years old and she was stuck behind a choice that she had been saying no to for 27 years. She realized that she couldn't escape from it and finally faced her fear of it. I talked to her a week later and she said that after she had decided to go ahead, everything fell into place to make things easier for her, like the universe was conspiring in her favor. That type of experience is an indication that you're on the right life path and the more synchronicity you see, the better you're doing. She had been struggling along for 27 years, working against the flow of life rather than with it and it had left her feeling very tired, unlucky, and uninspired. It was so good to see her full of energy within just a week of deciding to face up to her path and it serves as a reminder to me that we should never act our of fear. Fear serves to urge us towards caution but if it persuades us towards immobility, we are allowing it to speak too freely.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Rainbow Gathering
The Rainbow Gathering was a mixture of good and bad experiences. The bad experiences started almost from the very beginning but I was able to pull a fair number of good things from it as well. I talked with one of the most interesting people I've ever met. He's a Welsh guy in his mid-20s and one night while several of us were huddled around the fire, he started to sing. His look was very interesting as well, like an elf might look, with a thin, dark colored vest made of hide, pendants and charms around his neck, feathers in his hat and boots on his feet. His songs followed a steady cadence and he sung out verse after verse until I thought he must not be able to remember any more but he kept on without missing a word or a beat. He made me think of what a bard must have been like in the old times, singing and entertaining those around him. His singing ability and delivery were excellent but the lyrics were really striking as well, relating to spiritual matters or nature and the elements. Over the course of my time there, I heard him sing well over a dozen songs, one of them continuing for nearly 10 minutes without a chorus. His ability to remember and recite all of it to perfection was remarkable. When I got to talking to him, I learned that many of his songs are from experiences in a sweat lodge in a place called Teepee Valley in Wales. He also runs a magic school there and is knowledgable about many esoteric topics, especially divination methods. He is very experienced with the traditional tarot decks and held an afternoon information session for me and a few others about the archetypes of the major arcana. He is also very well versed in Western magic practices but doesn't delve into Eastern craft for some reason. I asked him about elemental magic, thinking to my experiences at Burning Man of bending flame and wind with energetic manipulation. He has seen these types of things accomplished several times by other people and stands as the only person I've met outside of that day at BM to have seen such a thing.
By the peak night of the full moon, 300 people had come to the gathering. Everything there was very relaxed all the time, the main activities during the day being breakfast and dinner. When the food is ready, everyone is called to the community area via loud, simultaneous shouting of "FOOD CIRCLE!" and everyone gathers into a circle around the fire pit. They had a specific ritual that was repeated every time consisting of holding hands, singing songs, collective OMing, raising the hands over the head then together and down over the heart and kneeling and putting the forehead to the ground while giving silent thanks for the meal. The meals are cooked by volunteer members of the community and served out around the circle. Donations are collected at the end in order to buy food for future meals.
I was able to meet some good people there but overall, the social atmosphere was quite strange. Much of the younger crowd seemed to be following a popularized image of 'The New Age Movement.' They definitely had the look nailed down.. multi-colored, loose fitting clothes, crystal and feathered accessories, hippy hats, bare feet, and nearly every head in dreadlocks. They spent lots of time doing hair wraps for each others dreads, making jewelry, and kitting various clothing items. There was plenty of yoga, OMing, breathing, and talk of vegetarianism. None of this is out of place amongst hippies but many of them were missing the knowingness that I usually find with these type of people. They didn't seem to know much about themselves or what was going on with the other people around them. They were still clouded in their illusions rather than basking in the sunlight of their awareness. I felt as if they were on their journey and searching for truth but thought that if they became a hippy, it would somehow begin to dawn on them automatically. Truth and knowingness comes from within and not from the clothes you wear, the company you keep, or what you do to your hair. I'm not saying that they were wrong or doing anything bad.. I just think they are searching in the wrong places. I'm definitely not saying that I'm better than them and am looking in the right places.. we're all continuing to search for truth and correcting our mistakes along the way.
However, the feeling that I got from the young people there is one that I've felt in many places of Australia. Australia is known for being a bit behind the times due to its remoteness, but people usually think of movies, music, or fashion trends that tend to arrive months after the rest of the world gets ahold of them. I think the same thing is happening here in terms of the mass awakening that is currently happening on our planet. From what I've seen, Australia is a few years behind (Nimbin being the exception). Lots of people here have that unconscious knowing that there is more to life and they have a desire to find out what is it. However, they are still looking to other people or various other external influences instead of looking within themselves. Once people start looking for truth, it's only a matter of time before they start finding truth. The only other country I've observed is America and I think everyone can now see that big things are happening there and that more and more people are starting to become aware of things to which they were once blind. I've also had interactions with friends from all over the world and they say big things are happening in their countries as well. South America seems to be one of the hot spots in particular.
Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent. Back to the gathering.. The idea behind the gathering is that everyone is accepted and welcome no matter the race, creed, religion, etc but neither I nor Dillon every felt welcome there. The members had been in the area for up to three weeks before we arrived and had formed strong friendships with each other in that time. I definitely felt the presense of cliques there and they were hard to break into. I talked to some other people who arrived the same day that I did and they reflected the sentiment. At first, I was quite disappointed by this and didn't understand why people wouldn't go out of their way to welcome in new people. After a few days there, I began to notice a type of self-rightousness amongst the older people that can sometimes be seen in hippy type communities. They once again become intolerant in their ways due to their belief that their way is the best way. Their distain for the intolerance or wasteful lifestyles of normal people eventually closes them off as well. Before heading to the gathering, I did some reading about the history of the event and came across mention of a Hopi prophecy that predicts a new spiritual group will arise, consisting of people from every background on the Earth. They will help to bring in a new era of awareness and they will call themselves the Rainbow tribe. I read that some regulars of Rainbow Gatherings believe themselves to be the fulfillment of the prophecy and I actually heard a song at the gathering about them being "the prophecy fulfilled." Basically, a large portion of the older people there thought they were pretty damn cool and it effectively made me sick to my stomach. I thought they were just as closed minded as normal people but they're a bit worse off because they should really know better.. having had the experience of spiritual insight at one time or another in their lives.
The most disturbing incident happened within a few hours of arriving. I was sitting in the food circle while some volunteers were walking around serving people. The sun was setting behind me, turning all the clouds pink, while the nearly full moon was rising over the mountains. I took out my camera to capture this beautiful background which was behind the circle of people sitting together. A woman who was sitting 30 people away from me shouted, "STOP TAKING PICTURES!" very loudly. It startled me and I looked over. "You've been taking pictures all day! Give it a rest. Why can't you just BE??" I was extremely confused because this was the first time I had taken a picture and I had no idea why anyone should have such an extreme, not to mention hostile, reaction to such an ordinary event. Everyone was looking at me by now and I glanced across the faces and saw that other people were indeed looking at me like I had done something wrong. I felt a wave of shame come over me and felt humiliated. I dropped my camera without saying anything back. My friend made me feel better by saying that the woman's outburst was completely ridicilous, that other people had been taking pictures too and besides, she didn't see the big deal anyway. I thought that there must have been some rule about cameras or electronic devices but that even if that was true, there was a better way to deal with it than what had just happened. I decided to go over and talk to the woman.
I sat down and told her that I had just arrived that day and I didn't know if they had a rule about taking pictures but that right away upon my arrival there, her verbal attack made me feel publically humiliated and unwelcome. I explained that if she had a problem with something I was doing, the proper way to deal with it would be to come over to me to talk about it rather than yelling at me across the circle. She waited until I was finished and then started telling me that many people there don't like to have their picture taken because electronic devices can mess with someone's energy field and that it's polite to ask permission before you snap a photo. I listened to her but was a little bit surprised at her rationale for her aggression. I can understand that maybe cell phones and the like are bad for your energy field but having your picture taken? I'm nowhere near sold on that. I tried not to let this experience sour the rest of my time there but it honestly did a fair bit of damage to my attitude the rest of the time. Although that was the strongest example, I observed serveral other offenses that self-proclaimed conscious people would not commit.
In the end, despite the fact that the majority of my experiences there were negative, I'm very glad that I went and experienced it. I had the opportunity to observe and live a different lifestyle and even though I didn't care for it, having a new life experience can always be jotted down in the positive column. I think that communal living can be tremendously beneficial. Humans lived in tribes like this one for tens of thousands of years before the rise of civilization. It's a simple lifestyle and has a long list of benefits. In my opinion, this particular gathering missed the mark but I think the structure and organization of the town and the activities was right on. With a different group of people, my experience might have been totally different.
By the peak night of the full moon, 300 people had come to the gathering. Everything there was very relaxed all the time, the main activities during the day being breakfast and dinner. When the food is ready, everyone is called to the community area via loud, simultaneous shouting of "FOOD CIRCLE!" and everyone gathers into a circle around the fire pit. They had a specific ritual that was repeated every time consisting of holding hands, singing songs, collective OMing, raising the hands over the head then together and down over the heart and kneeling and putting the forehead to the ground while giving silent thanks for the meal. The meals are cooked by volunteer members of the community and served out around the circle. Donations are collected at the end in order to buy food for future meals.
I was able to meet some good people there but overall, the social atmosphere was quite strange. Much of the younger crowd seemed to be following a popularized image of 'The New Age Movement.' They definitely had the look nailed down.. multi-colored, loose fitting clothes, crystal and feathered accessories, hippy hats, bare feet, and nearly every head in dreadlocks. They spent lots of time doing hair wraps for each others dreads, making jewelry, and kitting various clothing items. There was plenty of yoga, OMing, breathing, and talk of vegetarianism. None of this is out of place amongst hippies but many of them were missing the knowingness that I usually find with these type of people. They didn't seem to know much about themselves or what was going on with the other people around them. They were still clouded in their illusions rather than basking in the sunlight of their awareness. I felt as if they were on their journey and searching for truth but thought that if they became a hippy, it would somehow begin to dawn on them automatically. Truth and knowingness comes from within and not from the clothes you wear, the company you keep, or what you do to your hair. I'm not saying that they were wrong or doing anything bad.. I just think they are searching in the wrong places. I'm definitely not saying that I'm better than them and am looking in the right places.. we're all continuing to search for truth and correcting our mistakes along the way.
However, the feeling that I got from the young people there is one that I've felt in many places of Australia. Australia is known for being a bit behind the times due to its remoteness, but people usually think of movies, music, or fashion trends that tend to arrive months after the rest of the world gets ahold of them. I think the same thing is happening here in terms of the mass awakening that is currently happening on our planet. From what I've seen, Australia is a few years behind (Nimbin being the exception). Lots of people here have that unconscious knowing that there is more to life and they have a desire to find out what is it. However, they are still looking to other people or various other external influences instead of looking within themselves. Once people start looking for truth, it's only a matter of time before they start finding truth. The only other country I've observed is America and I think everyone can now see that big things are happening there and that more and more people are starting to become aware of things to which they were once blind. I've also had interactions with friends from all over the world and they say big things are happening in their countries as well. South America seems to be one of the hot spots in particular.
Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent. Back to the gathering.. The idea behind the gathering is that everyone is accepted and welcome no matter the race, creed, religion, etc but neither I nor Dillon every felt welcome there. The members had been in the area for up to three weeks before we arrived and had formed strong friendships with each other in that time. I definitely felt the presense of cliques there and they were hard to break into. I talked to some other people who arrived the same day that I did and they reflected the sentiment. At first, I was quite disappointed by this and didn't understand why people wouldn't go out of their way to welcome in new people. After a few days there, I began to notice a type of self-rightousness amongst the older people that can sometimes be seen in hippy type communities. They once again become intolerant in their ways due to their belief that their way is the best way. Their distain for the intolerance or wasteful lifestyles of normal people eventually closes them off as well. Before heading to the gathering, I did some reading about the history of the event and came across mention of a Hopi prophecy that predicts a new spiritual group will arise, consisting of people from every background on the Earth. They will help to bring in a new era of awareness and they will call themselves the Rainbow tribe. I read that some regulars of Rainbow Gatherings believe themselves to be the fulfillment of the prophecy and I actually heard a song at the gathering about them being "the prophecy fulfilled." Basically, a large portion of the older people there thought they were pretty damn cool and it effectively made me sick to my stomach. I thought they were just as closed minded as normal people but they're a bit worse off because they should really know better.. having had the experience of spiritual insight at one time or another in their lives.
The most disturbing incident happened within a few hours of arriving. I was sitting in the food circle while some volunteers were walking around serving people. The sun was setting behind me, turning all the clouds pink, while the nearly full moon was rising over the mountains. I took out my camera to capture this beautiful background which was behind the circle of people sitting together. A woman who was sitting 30 people away from me shouted, "STOP TAKING PICTURES!" very loudly. It startled me and I looked over. "You've been taking pictures all day! Give it a rest. Why can't you just BE??" I was extremely confused because this was the first time I had taken a picture and I had no idea why anyone should have such an extreme, not to mention hostile, reaction to such an ordinary event. Everyone was looking at me by now and I glanced across the faces and saw that other people were indeed looking at me like I had done something wrong. I felt a wave of shame come over me and felt humiliated. I dropped my camera without saying anything back. My friend made me feel better by saying that the woman's outburst was completely ridicilous, that other people had been taking pictures too and besides, she didn't see the big deal anyway. I thought that there must have been some rule about cameras or electronic devices but that even if that was true, there was a better way to deal with it than what had just happened. I decided to go over and talk to the woman.
I sat down and told her that I had just arrived that day and I didn't know if they had a rule about taking pictures but that right away upon my arrival there, her verbal attack made me feel publically humiliated and unwelcome. I explained that if she had a problem with something I was doing, the proper way to deal with it would be to come over to me to talk about it rather than yelling at me across the circle. She waited until I was finished and then started telling me that many people there don't like to have their picture taken because electronic devices can mess with someone's energy field and that it's polite to ask permission before you snap a photo. I listened to her but was a little bit surprised at her rationale for her aggression. I can understand that maybe cell phones and the like are bad for your energy field but having your picture taken? I'm nowhere near sold on that. I tried not to let this experience sour the rest of my time there but it honestly did a fair bit of damage to my attitude the rest of the time. Although that was the strongest example, I observed serveral other offenses that self-proclaimed conscious people would not commit.
In the end, despite the fact that the majority of my experiences there were negative, I'm very glad that I went and experienced it. I had the opportunity to observe and live a different lifestyle and even though I didn't care for it, having a new life experience can always be jotted down in the positive column. I think that communal living can be tremendously beneficial. Humans lived in tribes like this one for tens of thousands of years before the rise of civilization. It's a simple lifestyle and has a long list of benefits. In my opinion, this particular gathering missed the mark but I think the structure and organization of the town and the activities was right on. With a different group of people, my experience might have been totally different.
Friday, February 6, 2009
The 5 Month Mark - A Recap
It has been 5 months to the day since I arrived in Australia and I've been doing some reflection about what I've learned and how far I've come in my personal development over this time span. I went out to dinner with my friend Kirsten, who has known me almost the entire time that I've been here, and she was able to lend me a valuable external perspective on my progress. She told me that I've come a long way since she first met me and I started to think about the ways that I've changed.
To start with, I came to Australia on an intuition, not knowing why I was drawn here. I had spent 10 months working full time and saving all my money, constantly getting the sense that I was preparing for something major without a clue as to what it might be. Then I talked to Danny, who was finishing his last few weeks of work on a Hawaiian cruise ship. I asked him what was next and when he responded that he would go to Australia, I immediately said, "Australia? That sounds awesome. Can I come with you?" He thought I was joking at first but it made perfect sense to me to come along and my mind never wavered about the decision after that moment of insight.
Ok cool. I'm going to Australia. I suppose I should think about lots of stuff and make plans and read things, etc. Eh, that doesn't feel right. I don't want a tourist trip and I don't want to go with any programs that will hold my hand (for a pretty price as well). Let's jump off the deep end man! So we went with only a backpack and some money in the bank, without even bothering to book a hostel for the first night. We literally walked out of the airport in Sydney and asked ourselves, "What now?"
"What now?" has been a big theme of this trip. I decided that I didn't want to plan anything. This would be a turning point for me.. an opportunity to base my decisions from a place of truth, intuition, the higher mind and gut instinct, rather than to continue to follow the logistical, mentalistic, dead modalities of 'paranoid androids' and those who live in a world without magic. Despite the initial hesitations and illusion of risk, the trust in this inner voice has never let me down and has led me to many places, people, and ideas that I would not have crossed paths with otherwise. I now know, without a thread of doubt, that the intuitive voice of my heart is smarter than the churning gears of my mind and I will continue to live the rest of my life in this manner. This means you can never ask me where I'll be in a year because I will not know. I'm continually living in the present, asking myself "What now?"
At the start of the journey, I had multiple goals in mind for tackling personal obstacles that I had failed to conquer on several previous attempts. People who meet the Finch I am today do not know how far I've come from the David of my past. They are often surprised to learn that I am very shy and used to battle with social anxiety, depression, and a complete lack of self-confidence. These issues were birthed from the social atmosphere in which I was raised, constantly engulfed in criticism, restriction, violent and emotionally explosive fighting with my parents, and the influence of a stuffy, affluent suburban town. There are many, many positive things that came from my childhood, but by the time I left for college at the age of 17, I had a very complicated emotional puzzle to sort out. My entire life, I had not been aware of the state of my mind or the extent of the damage incurred from all the fighting and upon realization of the mess, I started the lengthy process of untying knots, one by one. By the time I finished college, I had untied most of it, including moderate depression, minor OCD, anger issues, self-hatred, a tendency to follow, negative thought tendencies, etc, etc. However, the most deeply rooted knots still remained, such as a lack of trust for others, social anxiety, and lack of confidence. I found that it was very difficult to get to these because they required my full focus, which I was not able to devote due to things such as school and work. What better time to dig them up once and for all than a 9 month trip to Australia with complete freedom and all the time I need to pour myself into the challenge? People I've met along the way have told me that many travelers come to Australia for healing and apparently I am no different.
Resting at the halfway mark of the trip, I realize that I'm about halfway along in the completion of my goals. I'm no longer hesitant to leave my friends or comfort zones to pursue an opportunity that my inner voice tells me to chase. I used to wait to see what others would do or what they would think if I left but I don't need to do that anymore. It's my life to live and I hope that others will understand that it's not selfish for me to do what's best for me. I fully expect and encourage other people to do the same for themselves, even if it goes against what I want out of the situation.
I now move more decisively and each step forward is carried with more confidence than the last. I am not as weighted by fear as I was in the beginning. I can see the parts of myself that still need work and I am setting forth upon those knots with purpose. Who am I now? Who will I be when it's finished?
I am aware that many of the things I have worked on in myself are issues that many people deal with and that some are very common. Even though they are deficiencies, they are perceived as normal and some people ask me why I care so much about overcoming them? Well, the most common cause of death in the US is coronary heart disease. You can choose to label that as normal as well, or you can change your diet and lifestyle to avoid it. Whenever I overcome an obstacle to progress within myself, I become a better person. I get to carry these lessons with me for the rest of my life and will continue to build upon them, reaching a higher and higher level of understanding and wisdom along the way. Why wouldn't I lead my life in this manner? Why wouldn't you?
To start with, I came to Australia on an intuition, not knowing why I was drawn here. I had spent 10 months working full time and saving all my money, constantly getting the sense that I was preparing for something major without a clue as to what it might be. Then I talked to Danny, who was finishing his last few weeks of work on a Hawaiian cruise ship. I asked him what was next and when he responded that he would go to Australia, I immediately said, "Australia? That sounds awesome. Can I come with you?" He thought I was joking at first but it made perfect sense to me to come along and my mind never wavered about the decision after that moment of insight.
Ok cool. I'm going to Australia. I suppose I should think about lots of stuff and make plans and read things, etc. Eh, that doesn't feel right. I don't want a tourist trip and I don't want to go with any programs that will hold my hand (for a pretty price as well). Let's jump off the deep end man! So we went with only a backpack and some money in the bank, without even bothering to book a hostel for the first night. We literally walked out of the airport in Sydney and asked ourselves, "What now?"
"What now?" has been a big theme of this trip. I decided that I didn't want to plan anything. This would be a turning point for me.. an opportunity to base my decisions from a place of truth, intuition, the higher mind and gut instinct, rather than to continue to follow the logistical, mentalistic, dead modalities of 'paranoid androids' and those who live in a world without magic. Despite the initial hesitations and illusion of risk, the trust in this inner voice has never let me down and has led me to many places, people, and ideas that I would not have crossed paths with otherwise. I now know, without a thread of doubt, that the intuitive voice of my heart is smarter than the churning gears of my mind and I will continue to live the rest of my life in this manner. This means you can never ask me where I'll be in a year because I will not know. I'm continually living in the present, asking myself "What now?"
At the start of the journey, I had multiple goals in mind for tackling personal obstacles that I had failed to conquer on several previous attempts. People who meet the Finch I am today do not know how far I've come from the David of my past. They are often surprised to learn that I am very shy and used to battle with social anxiety, depression, and a complete lack of self-confidence. These issues were birthed from the social atmosphere in which I was raised, constantly engulfed in criticism, restriction, violent and emotionally explosive fighting with my parents, and the influence of a stuffy, affluent suburban town. There are many, many positive things that came from my childhood, but by the time I left for college at the age of 17, I had a very complicated emotional puzzle to sort out. My entire life, I had not been aware of the state of my mind or the extent of the damage incurred from all the fighting and upon realization of the mess, I started the lengthy process of untying knots, one by one. By the time I finished college, I had untied most of it, including moderate depression, minor OCD, anger issues, self-hatred, a tendency to follow, negative thought tendencies, etc, etc. However, the most deeply rooted knots still remained, such as a lack of trust for others, social anxiety, and lack of confidence. I found that it was very difficult to get to these because they required my full focus, which I was not able to devote due to things such as school and work. What better time to dig them up once and for all than a 9 month trip to Australia with complete freedom and all the time I need to pour myself into the challenge? People I've met along the way have told me that many travelers come to Australia for healing and apparently I am no different.
Resting at the halfway mark of the trip, I realize that I'm about halfway along in the completion of my goals. I'm no longer hesitant to leave my friends or comfort zones to pursue an opportunity that my inner voice tells me to chase. I used to wait to see what others would do or what they would think if I left but I don't need to do that anymore. It's my life to live and I hope that others will understand that it's not selfish for me to do what's best for me. I fully expect and encourage other people to do the same for themselves, even if it goes against what I want out of the situation.
I now move more decisively and each step forward is carried with more confidence than the last. I am not as weighted by fear as I was in the beginning. I can see the parts of myself that still need work and I am setting forth upon those knots with purpose. Who am I now? Who will I be when it's finished?
I am aware that many of the things I have worked on in myself are issues that many people deal with and that some are very common. Even though they are deficiencies, they are perceived as normal and some people ask me why I care so much about overcoming them? Well, the most common cause of death in the US is coronary heart disease. You can choose to label that as normal as well, or you can change your diet and lifestyle to avoid it. Whenever I overcome an obstacle to progress within myself, I become a better person. I get to carry these lessons with me for the rest of my life and will continue to build upon them, reaching a higher and higher level of understanding and wisdom along the way. Why wouldn't I lead my life in this manner? Why wouldn't you?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Rainbow Gathering
Yuck.. I haven't been very diligent with my writing lately and I think I'm feeling the effects of that as well. I always feel much more on top of my life and my mind when I take a few hours a week to put pen to page. I'm gearing up to leave Melbourne once again to get my hands dirty in the Tasmanian forest. I'll be living in a temporary cooperative community at an event called Rainbow Gathering. Rather than expend a great amount of effort to describe it, exhausting my fragile finger muscles, here is some information about RG that I copied from wikipedia:
I know that I will learn a lot from a place like this. I'm always down for an experiment in utopianism but after nearly 40 years, perhaps this idea has already surpassed the 'experimental phase' and is now a proven alternative lifestyle option. The annual US Rainbow Gathering is in New Mexico July 2009 and I expect to attend that one as well. Festivals are typically one week long but this one in Tasmania will go on at least one month. Having had experiences at Burning Man and Rainbow Serpent, each for less than one week, I'm very VERY interested and excited to see what can happen when a few thousand conscious creators with good intentions assemble over a longer period of time. The number of synchronicities will be much higher and the rate of manifestation will be quickened. If you know what I'm talking about then you can probably feel my excitement and if you have no idea, I'll attempt to explain it afterwards.
Rainbow Gatherings are an expression of a Utopian impulse, combined with bohemianism and hippie culture, with roots clearly traceable to the 1960s counterculture.The original Rainbow Gathering was in 1972, and has been held annually in the United States from July 1 - 7 every year on National Forest land. Other regional and national gatherings are held throughout the year, in the United States and throughout the rest of the world. The largest Rainbow Gatherings pose significant logistical challenges, providing up to 30,000 people with food, water, sanitation, medical care, and order in remote settings. Nevertheless, the Gatherings have proven durable phenomena for 37 years.
Rainbow Gatherings, as a matter of principle, are free and non-commercial. Using money to buy or sell anything at Rainbow Gatherings is taboo. There are no paid organizers, although there are volunteers who are crucial to setting up the gathering site. Participants are expected to contribute money, labor, and/or material. All labor is voluntary and never formally compensated. The primary principle is that necessities should be freely shared, while luxuries can be traded. A designated "trading circle" is a feature at most (if not all) Gatherings.
Allegations of widespread drug abuse are common in media coverage and Government portrayals of the Gathering. Gathering organizers point to the fact that actual seizures and arrests are proportionate to any city of similar size. Although few arrests are made (largely due to the peaceful conduct and remote placement of gatherings) the use of certain "soft" or spiritual drugs is accepted. Examples of such drugs would be Cannabis, Peyote, LSD, and Mushrooms. Hard drug use is widely discouraged.
I know that I will learn a lot from a place like this. I'm always down for an experiment in utopianism but after nearly 40 years, perhaps this idea has already surpassed the 'experimental phase' and is now a proven alternative lifestyle option. The annual US Rainbow Gathering is in New Mexico July 2009 and I expect to attend that one as well. Festivals are typically one week long but this one in Tasmania will go on at least one month. Having had experiences at Burning Man and Rainbow Serpent, each for less than one week, I'm very VERY interested and excited to see what can happen when a few thousand conscious creators with good intentions assemble over a longer period of time. The number of synchronicities will be much higher and the rate of manifestation will be quickened. If you know what I'm talking about then you can probably feel my excitement and if you have no idea, I'll attempt to explain it afterwards.
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