Dirt Under The Carpet: Self-Inflicted Injustice

Everyone has times when they're feeling down but it's what you do at that moment that determines whether you stay in that rut or escape to better days. It's easy to tell yourself that nothing is bothering you or that it'll blow over but this is often our way of sweeping dirt under the carpet so that we don't have to deal with it. It's obviously much easier (and much less painful) to clean up the mess as you go rather than letting it build to unmanageable size.

I have been holding my tongue too much lately and ignoring things that were bothering me. I think this is why my mood sunk and why I've been so tired lately. I've taken a good amount of time for myself over the last few days to help sort things out and I've gained some clarity about my situation and state of confusion.

I have mentioned before that I've done almost nothing to place myself on this road trip. I found myself here and wondered what the purpose of the trip might be. Well, I now know that it is one of challenge. I have been being placed into unique situations to help me confront fears and habits that have long plagued me and I am now supposed to sort through them. My lack of energy has come about through my hesitation to tackle them at this time. My mind screams "wait" even though I know in my core that I am ready. These are the parts of myself that I am not comfortable with and the parts that are most in need of strengthening.

Intuitions have been striking me but I have not followed. I have hesitated until the opportunity passed or ignored the pull altogether. This is the first thing that needs to change. Intuitions lead you down the least painful path to learn your lessons and if you ignore them, you miss out on your next step.

I have known for the last few months that I am being prepared for something and even had an intuition that things would start to get harder for me. That time has come along now and I must meet it with determination and resolve. If I do not, I will not be prepared to meet the next challenge to come. I know that I am being prepared for something important and whether the outcome is success or failure, the consequences will be major. I asked to be put to use and wanted to be of service. My call was answered and now that I have been given a job, backing down is not an option. Here we go! Off the deep end again.

Doing battle with the devil.

On the edge of the world.

Making my mark.

Perfect.

If you checked out the picture from the last post, that mystical little cloud puff at the top of my didge came out in the picture but there wasn't anything actually there that I could see. I was very surprised to see that it was there and it kinda gave me the chills. Maybe it's one of those good spirits that has been looking after me out here. If you've never heard of "orbs in pictures" give it a google.