Masks

The last few days have been very relaxing. We left Sydney and headed into the Blue Mountains for some exercise on the extensive bushwalking trails. Rochelle decided she wanted to challenge me to a stick-swordfighting match, which was a big mistake. She's a good loser though. Oh wait, she's not.. she threw a stick at my face and hit me from 6 feet away. She once told me that she's not competitive but I think that I've now discovered the truth.

We went to the Jenolan Caves, which is something I've been wanting to do since Tyson told me about it last August. I went on the adventure tour and started out by rappelling (or abseiling, as they call it) 20 feet into a pit. The other caves are well lit with concrete walkways and railings but all we got were helmets and head lamps to find our way. I was lucky enough to find myself in a small group of 3 and so we were able to tackle some of the more difficult features of the cave. We went through several "squeezes" which require you to go through holes that are so small that you can't fit your whole body through at one time. There was one particularly tight one called "the window" in which you have to put your head through, one shoulder and then the other, and wiggle the rest of your body until you've made it through to the other side. We spent 2 hours underground and it was really, really cool. When I go back to the area I want to do the 6 hour advanced tour. I love rock climbing and technical stuff like that so caving is right up my alley.



We're now headed up towards Byron Bay and have been stopping in all the beach towns along the way. It's so nice to be able to park your home next to the beach and fall asleep to the sound of the waves. I'm feeling pretty good about getting a tan in December, even though I'm missing out on snowboarding. Rochelle and I have had a lot of good conversations, which have continually helped me realize things about myself. We've established an open and honest relationship where we can tell each other what's bothering us and how the other is doing something to create a less than ideal situation for us. There have been a fair share of rough patches so far but hopefully we've passed the worst of it. It has certainly been interesting being around a girl 24/7 for the last 3 weeks, even though she's fairly easy going as far as women go.

Ok, enough rambling along. I want to try to expand on an idea I wrote about in my journal concerning human weakness and the extent to which we all share similar experiences of our faults. I think it is very easy to relate to one another about our faults if we are willing to be open and share our true selves. Everyone has experienced moments of depression or social anxiety, fear of rejection or insecurity. However, in a society that emphasizes strengths, we often don't want others to know about our weaknesses and make an effort to hide them from one another. We pretend like we're strong instead of being honest and in fact, have become so good at hiding our weaknesses that most people cannot see through this false projection. When we look at ourselves and our faults compared to everyone else, it appears as though everyone else has it all together and that we suffer through our state of weakness alone. Not wanting to expose his or her perceived inferiority, the person continues on, sweeping dirt under the carpet.

However, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to another person to open up and talk about these faults, we can see that the experience is fundamentally the same and common across other people, regardless of different personalities or life experiences. Faults are as much a part of the human experience as virtues and are not something to hide away in the mind's attic. In fact, the only way that they survive is to hide away and go unnoticed. Once we recognize them and acknowledge them, we have come one step closer to bringing them under our control and surpassing them. We all know that nobody is perfect so then why do we pretend like some people are? Why are we ashamed when we are not?

All of this reminds me of a poem I wrote several years back so I went and dug it up.

Masks

Uniformly crafted, to serve the same cause
To cover up and hide the defects and flaws.
The masks are manufactured the very same way
And are usually proficient at keeping emotions at bay.
But we get close and we care and take off our masks to share
And breathe a sigh of relief to see that
Beneath it all,
We are all odd under the facade.